The Wheels Are Spinnin'

I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair. - Wedding Crashers


Ah, another Saturday night at home. Hey don't dare start laughing at my poor pathetic social life either. I know where you live- dont make me come over there. I choose to stay in and not go to the bars. What is the appeal anyway at the bars? Go see the SAME drunk people who tell the SAME boring stories and come home with $100 less in my bank account? I dont think so. I can get a 12 pack of my favorite beer (Miller Lite) or a bottle of wine and have the time of my life at home all while wearing pig tails, no makeup and pjs. Thats what I;m talking about. Plus I dont have to attempt the ole one eye bob and weave down the Tollway and pray that I make it home in one piece. What a sad day that would be for my family and friends to have to bury me because I was so irresponsible and drove drunk and crashed. I made it through Cancer, so do you really think I am going to risk my life again and drive drunk? Um nope!

So what did I do today? Lets see.... I ran a few errands with my sister, babysat my friends daughter Vivian, worked on my online new business details (I needed a drink when that was done- hey bartender, pour me a double), applied for some more jobs (I have to get out of here soon and get ALL of my life back, so come on JOB I need you badly-lol)cleaned house and all dog beds and linens.... ate plenty, got spit up on by my nephew Dean and messed around on facebook. I think I may need a facebook intervention soon. :) At least I use it for the purpose its meant for and not as a dating/hookup site like some people. I just like to keep up to date on my family that I dont get to see often and friends. Whats the harm in that right? Ad I got some really sweet new pics of my nephew I cantwait to get posted. How is it that I can be so in love with someone who has only been in my life 11 weeks. My sister has some beautiful babies. I really am so fortunate to have the family I have, even though I make jokes here and there about having to be where I am temporarily. BUT some people hit hard times for whatever reason, and they dont have family to fall back on in their time of desperate need. I do! And I love everyone of them0 their dysfunctions and all. It only makes them that much more unique and hilarious. And one day I am going to tape me and my sister Samantha together. We should be the new duo for the next set of Sonic commercials. We are funny as hell- trust me. My nephews and nieces would even vouch for that even though we are 'old' people. LMAO Your cheeks and sides will hurt after a night hanging w us.

I noticed today just looking around facebook that a lot of my friends are having babies, getting engaged and married and it got me thinking how much I miss those things. Its not that I NEED someone in my life on that level, but it would be nice to have someone to spend time with, cuddle with and just feel a connection with. I guess good things come to those who wait right? Dont feel sorry for me either- I have had dates and opportunities to go that route, but either the timing was off or the connection just wasnt there. Call me picky, but hell, we all should be picky! And to be honest- all I really want is someone who can make me laugh and smile, who respects me, who I can be myself with and who appreciates the real aspect of love and companionship and is emotionally available to welcome it when the time comes. Oh, almost forgot, someone who likes dogs, kids and believes family is everything! :) Too bad I cant run to WalMart and just pick up those ingredients and make my own man. Now if I could come up with a way to accomplish that- I would be rich. Shittin' in high cotton rich too! Like I have said before, all those guys are either married, gay or family members. I sure dont want to date a married man... not my style. A gay man... nope- I dont think my confidence could handle my man ever leaving me for his golf buddy! lol And family... a big HELL NO... yes, laugh all you want- I realize I am from Louisiana, so let the incest jokes fly. And I could never be a lesbian either... I dont want someone sharing all of my clothes and stretching out my shoe collection! Even though I have an appreciation for beautiful women, thats where it ends. I also have an appreciation for nice cars too but you wont catch me trying to screw a tail pipe! Its just an appreciation for beauty I guess in all aspects of life!

I know I know, you are dying to know what I am doing at this very moment. Well hold on and I will tell you but try not to get too excited ok? I am sitting in my bed- on top of the covers because I feel like its still 90 degrees in here, cant seem to cool down today. I have on a black tank and black shorts (i know- just wait, the visual gets better)...hair in a ponytail, with a glass of chocolate milk and a bowl of banana pudding next to my bed. HEY, relax- I do whatever I can to gain weight.... if I tried to not eat sweets and stuff I would shrivel up and fly away. Oh yea, almost forgot the sexiest part- the green mask on my face.... I know, calm down and take a deep breath. Its a beautiful visual. :) Well on that note, let me go wash this off and shower so I can cool down.... I may hop back on in a bit and say goodnight.


Oh great, Sully is starting to make music again. That boy needs a new food maybe- he is killin' me!



Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.” - Mahatma Ghandi